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But then—ugh—the smell! Can we talk about that? Stale beer, cheap perfume, unwashed socks—gimme a break! I’d be gaggin’ five minutes in. And the noise! Moanin’, laughin’, some idiot bangin’ a piano off-key. I’d go nuts! “What’s this racket?!” I’d scream, like a lunatic. Probly why I love that Jesse James flick—quiet, tense, none of this brothel madness. “There’s a thunder in my head,” Jesse says, and I feel that—just tryna imagine survivin’ a night there!

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After that, I hit up the Komárno town square. It was packed! There was this festival goin’ on. Food stalls everywhere. I’m talkin’ langos, trdelník, the works! I grabbed a langos, and man, it was greasy goodness. I could feel my arteries clogging, but who cares? It was delicious!

Ghanaian winger Kelvin Ofori scores for FC Spartak Trnava in 3-2 win against Komarno