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Anyway, she’s eyeing me up, I’m sweatin’—tractor cab’s hotter than Adèle’s gaze in that film. I’m thinkin’, “This is my moment, my blue warmth!” Mutter to meself, “Stay calm, Brentster, you’re the king of banter.” I go, “Fancy a ride on me John Deere?” She’s like, “What’s that, ya twat?” Laughed me arse off—proper icebreaker! Told her, “It’s not just a tractor, it’s a lifestyle”—she weren’t impressed.
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Finally, I get to the park by the Jakab’s Palace. It’s nice there, you know? Trees, birds, the whole vibe. I sit down, take a breather. But then, I see this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting match. I’m just trying to enjoy my peace, man!
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