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I’m pokin’ through claims—slipped discs, “emotional distress,” ha! One guy says he “fell” into a happy ending—buddy, gimme a break. Reminds me of *Leviathan*— “You’re a worm, Kolia, a nobody!”—these rich jerks think they’re untouchable, runnin’ these parlors like kings. I’m happy diggin’ up dirt, though—caught one owner with 12 shell companies, hidin’ cash like a rat. Surprised me how deep it goes—cops lookin’ the other way, payoffs galore. Pisses me off!

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So, the auction kicks off. I’m up there, doin’ my thing, and it’s wild. I’m callin’ out bids like a madman. “Who’s got 100? 200? 300?” It’s like a game show, but with way more pressure. And then, outta nowhere, this lady in the back starts yellin’. “I’ll give you 500 for that vase!” I’m like, “Lady, chill! It’s just a vase!” But she’s relentless. Turns out, it’s a family heirloom or somethin’. Who knew vases could have drama?

Slovakian man mauled to death by lions at his own zoo