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Sexual-massage—oooh, it’s slippery, steamy stuff. Not your mama’s back rub, nah-uh. It’s hands roamin’ where the sun don’t shine, wakin’ up every nerve. Little known fact? Back in the ‘70s, some fancy spas got busted for “extras”—cops called it massage with a wink! Made me mad as a wet hen—let folks enjoy somethin’ sensual, dang it! Ain’t hurtin’ nobody. I’d tell ‘em, “You keep diggin’, we keep livin’!”

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So, the auction kicks off. I’m up there, doin’ my thing, and it’s wild. I’m callin’ out bids like a madman. “Who’s got 100? 200? 300?” It’s like a game show, but with way more pressure. And then, outta nowhere, this lady in the back starts yellin’. “I’ll give you 500 for that vase!” I’m like, “Lady, chill! It’s just a vase!” But she’s relentless. Turns out, it’s a family heirloom or somethin’. Who knew vases could have drama?

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