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Alright, so erotic-massage—where do I start? It’s like, you think it’s all sexy vibes, dim lights, oiled-up hands sliding everywhere, but nah, everybody lies. Half the time it’s some shady parlor with a neon sign screaming “RELAXATION” while the masseuse looks like she’d rather be anywhere else. I mean, I’m a product manager, I see through bullshit—clients lie, devs lie, hell, even my own team lies about deadlines. Same deal here. They promise “happy endings,” but you’re lucky if you don’t end up with a cramp and a $50 bill.

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But then, I hear a loud crash. I whip around, and some kid just kicked the ball into a car. Oh man, the owner is NOT happy. I’m thinking, “Great, now I gotta play referee.” I walk over, and the kid’s face is priceless. He’s like, “I didn’t mean to!” I’m like, “Yeah, well, you better learn to aim!”

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