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So, sexual-massage—man, it’s a trip. Not just your basic “ooh, my back” crap. Nah, it’s sneaky—starts all innocent, then bam, ya feel the shift. Little known fact: back in ancient Rome, they’d mix oil with crushed rose petals for these “special” rubs—fancy, right? Prolly smelled like a garden orgy. Me, I’m all about the tension—makes me happy, that slow tease. Like in the movie, “You’re a bit late, dear!”—timing’s everything, ya dig?

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I step outside, and it’s a scene. People are yelling about prisoners’ rights. I’m like, “Listen, I get it, but these guys are in here for a reason!” But nooo, they don’t wanna hear it. I’m standing there, trying to look tough, but inside I’m just rolling my eyes.

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