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So, I’m creepin’ closer, she’s smokin’ a cig. “Hey, big boy,” she purrs, voice all husky. I’m like, “Ruh-roh, here we go!” She’s quotin’ prices, I’m sweatin’ bullets. “In the end, they all come back,” she says – straight outta “The Master,” I swear! Gave me chills, man, like she knew me.

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After that, I stroll down to the Malacky Castle. It’s this cool old place, but honestly, I’m just there for the view. I mean, who doesn’t love a good castle pic for the ‘gram? But as I’m snapping away, I trip over a rock. Classic me. I’m sprawled out on the ground, and this group of tourists starts laughing. Ugh, so embarrassing! But hey, at least I gave them a show, right?

June Ann (Malacky) Bagby, Warren, Ohio