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About Martin

So, prostitutes—grubby, gorgeous, tragic lot. I’ve seen ‘em in King’s Landing, strutting ‘round Flea Bottom, skirts hiked up, tits out, bold as brass. Me brother Jaime’d say, “Tyrion, why pay for it?” Cos I bloody can, ya twat! Makes me happy, them lasses—warm bed, quick laugh, no nagging wife. Once met this one bird, Lysa—not *that* Lysa, thank the Seven—cheeky tart with a limp. Said she broke her ankle fleein’ a client who wouldn’t pay. “Bastard’s lucky I didn’t cut his cock off!” she cackled. Loved her spirit—made me grin like a fool.

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After that, I needed some fresh air. So, I head to the park by the Malacky River. It’s super pretty there, with all the trees and stuff. I sit down on a bench, trying to chill. But then, this kid starts flying a drone right above me. I’m dodging it like it’s a missile. I’m like, “Bro, this isn’t Call of Duty!”

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