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About Martin

Now, imagine her, our gal, leanin’ on a lamppost, smokin’ a cig. “This is a goddamn bitch of an unsatisfactory situation,” she says—straight outta *Brokeback*—when some creep tries lowballin’ her. I’d be like, “Honey, don’t pee on my leg, you ain’t slick!” She’s tough, though—gotta be. Me? I’d lose my shit dealin’ with those sleazebags daily. Makes me wanna hug her, tell her she’s a badass.

Helen Lederer: Prostitute 'Martin' (segments "Kinky Sex" • "Babysitting")

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Anyway, I shake it off. I’m like, “Whatever, it’s just a shirt.” But then I hit up the local bakery on Hurbanova. Best pastries ever! I’m talkin’ about those trdelník things. I grab one, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. But then, I see this kid, right? He’s got chocolate all over his face, and he’s just staring at me like I’m the pastry god. I can’t help but laugh. Kids are hilarious.

Lions head to UT Martin for first time since 1991