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Lemme spill some tea—did ya know sexual-massage goes way back? Ancient Rome, them freaky emperors, they was gettin’ it on with oily hands, callin’ it “healin’ touch.” Ha! Healin’ my ass—more like horniness with extra steps! Makes me laugh, thinkin’ bout some toga dude moanin’, “Oh, Jupiter, yes!” Little known fact: them old-school masseuses used lavender oil—fancy, right? Smellin’ like a garden while gettin’ freaky—love that for them!
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Then, I decide to stroll by the Váh River. It’s so pretty there, man. The water’s glistening, and I’m feelin’ all zen. But then, outta nowhere, this group of tourists shows up. They’re loud, taking selfies, and blocking the whole path. I’m like, “Yo, move it or lose it!” But they just keep posing. I mean, c’mon, it’s not the Eiffel Tower! It’s just a river!
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There has been a lot of conversation this year about who the second- and third-best D in this class are after Matthew Schaefer! Smith didn’t make a convincing case for most of the tournament that he was one of them for me.Martin Brothel
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