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Then there’s my pal, Joey—met this chick on Bumble. She’s all “let’s hook up quick”—he’s pumped, right? Shows up, she’s got a PowerPoint—*PowerPoint*, man—on “ethical sex-dating.” He’s sittin’ there, horny and confused, while she’s quotin’ stats. I laughed my ass off—surprised me how weird it gets! Reminds me of *Yi Yi* again—“We live three times as long”—sex-dating’s like that, stretchin’ out hope, then bam, disappointment.

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After that, I decided to grab some lunch. I hit up this little joint on Špitálska Street. Best halušky in town, no joke. I order a plate, and while I’m waiting, I overhear this couple arguing. They’re going at it, man! I’m just trying to enjoy my food, and they’re throwing around words like “divorce” and “custody.” Yikes! I mean, can’t you take that drama somewhere else?

A Warhol museum in Bratislava wouldn't be a good idea