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So, sex-dating’s like divin’ into a sea o’ hot strangers. Swipe, swipe, BAM – date’s on! I tried it, got a story, listen up, matey! Met this lass, all flirty texts, “u up?” at 2 a.m. – classic! We hit a bar, she’s smokin’, I’m sweatin’ like Patrick in a heatwave. Thought I’d score, but nah – she ghosted mid-drink! Rude! Felt like Lisa yellin’ “You’re so STUPID!” at me in my head. Pissed me off, but also – HA! – fair play, girl.

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First off, I hit up the local café on Hlavná Street. You know, the one with the best coffee? I ordered my usual – a cappuccino, extra foam, because why not? But the barista, bless her heart, totally messed it up. I got a black coffee instead. Like, c’mon! I’m a scientist, not a caffeine junkie! I was ready to throw a fit, but then I saw her smile. Ugh, fine, I’ll let it slide.

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