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Lemme break it down, homie. Erotic-massage got history, yo. Ancient Greeks? They was on it—called it “anatripsis.” Rubbin’ to get the blood flowin’, feel me? Mr. T digs that, keeps it real. Ain’t no quick handy-j handy, nah—it’s sensual, deep, soul-shakin’. I pity the fool rushin’ through it! Takes time, like drillin’ oil in that flick. “I’ve abandoned my child!”—naw, I ain’t abandonin’ no massage, sucka!

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So, I get to the auction house, and it’s packed. Like, standing-room-only packed. I’m thinkin’, “Great, more people means more bids, right?” But then I see this dude, right? He’s sittin’ there, all smug, like he owns the place. Turns out, he’s a collector of weird stuff. I mean, who collects old spoons? But hey, to each their own, I guess.

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