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Hey buddy, lemme tell ya bout sexual-massage! It’s a wild ride, like somethin outta “The Act of Killing” – y’know, my fave flick! Them hands slidin all over, kneadin the stress outta ya, it’s like – whoa – “We’ve built a killing machine!” but for relaxin, not murderin. I reckon it’s a misunderestimated art, folks don’t get how deep it goes. Back in Texas, I heard bout this gal who’d massage ya so good, you’d swear she’s rewritin yer dang spine – true story! Ain’t no foolin me once, shame on – uh – y’know the thing!

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After the rain, I decide to hit the park. You know, the one by the Myjava River? It’s beautiful there. Trees, birds, the whole shebang. I’m walkin’ along the path, feelin’ all zen, when I trip over a root. Classic me, right? I’m sprawled out on the ground, and this lady joggin’ by just laughs. Like, thanks for the support, lady! I get up, brush myself off, and keep goin’.

Slovakia marks 21 years in EU amid uncertainty about its future role