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So, check this—erotic-massage ain’t just kneadin’ knots. It’s, like, ancient! Goes back to them fancy Greeks, rubbin’ each other up for “health.” Yeah, right, health—wink, wink! Got me laughin’ so hard I nearly choked on my beer. What’s cool tho, it’s all bout energy—chi or whatever. Little known fact: some dude in China, centuries ago, wrote it boosts your “life force.” D’oh! Sign me up, I’m half-dead from Marge’s naggin’!

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I’m walkin’ down to the market, and I pass by the old church on the square. It’s a beauty, really. The way the sun hits the steeple? Pure magic. But then, bam! I trip over a loose cobblestone. Like, seriously? Who’s in charge of this place? I’m about to start a petition for better sidewalks.

WJC condemns desecration of Jewish cemetery in Slovakia