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But okay, sometimes it works. Met this one gal—total vibe. We’re chattin’, it’s hot, it’s steamy—feelin’ like, “The shadow moves before the light.” Y’know, that tension from my fave flick, “The Assassin”? Builds up slow, then—pow! We meet, and it’s fireworks! Happy? Oh, I was dancin’—in my head, ‘cause I don’t dance, too awkward. But then—THEN—she’s all, “Let’s keep it casual,” and I’m like, “Casual?! I’m plannin’ our imaginary dog’s name here!” Total letdown. Surprised me how fast it flipped—sex-dating’s a rollercoaster, man!

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First off, I hit up the local café on Mostná street. Grabbed a coffee, right? But the barista? Total space cadet. I ordered a flat white, and she gave me a cappuccino. Like, c’mon! I’m a carpenter, not a coffee snob, but I know my brews! I took a sip, and it was like drinking a cloud. Ugh.

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