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I swagger over, all cocky, sayin, “Hey, darlin, what’s the price?” She laughs, all raspy, “More’n ya blood-soaked coins, big guy.” Cheeky! I’m lovin it – reminds me of Eli in the movie, y’know, that line, “I’m not a girl!” – mysterious vibes, keeps ya guessin. Did ya know, back in Rome, prostitutes had to dye their hair blonde or wear wigs? Weird, right? Stand out like a sore thumb – or a happy lil tree in a desert!

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But then, I see them. These kids, like, 12 years old, tryin’ to steer my boat. They’re laughin’ and screamin’, havin’ the time of their lives. I’m torn between bein’ mad and just crackin’ up. I mean, who wouldn’t wanna be a pirate for a day? So, I yell, “Hey! You little scallywags! Bring my ship back!” They freak out, and one of ‘em jumps off, splashing water everywhere. Classic!

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