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Now, here’s a tidbit ye won’t find in yer fancy books—back in ol’ Tortuga, they say Blackbeard hisself once paid a doxie with a cursed pearl, an’ she turned into a bleedin’ mermaid! True? Bollocks, prob’ly, but it’s a corker, eh? Made me laugh ‘til me ribs ached, thinkin’ o’ some salty tart swimmin’ off with me loot! Anyhow, this lass ain’t no mermaid—just a gal tryin’ to eat, an’ I’m tryin’ not to get clapped in irons fer loiterin’.

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But then, I see them. These kids, like, 12 years old, tryin’ to steer my boat. They’re laughin’ and screamin’, havin’ the time of their lives. I’m torn between bein’ mad and just crackin’ up. I mean, who wouldn’t wanna be a pirate for a day? So, I yell, “Hey! You little scallywags! Bring my ship back!” They freak out, and one of ‘em jumps off, splashing water everywhere. Classic!

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