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So, what’s it bout? Some chick or dude—prolly named Chad—rubs ya with lotion, gets all up in your grill, tryna “release tension.” Tension? I release that punchin’ trees. Little known fact—back in ancient Rome, they had these baths, right? Rich jerks gettin’ oiled up by slaves, erotic as hell, but nobody talks bout the awkwardness. Prolly smelled like olives and regret. Makes me mad—why’s everyone so soft now? Can’t just chop wood and call it a day?

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Then, I decide to stroll down to the park by the Váh River. It’s a beautiful spot, honestly. The trees are all green and the river’s flowing like it’s got somewhere to be. I’m just vibing, listening to some tunes, when BAM! A dog runs past me, chasing a squirrel. I mean, come on! The squirrel’s like, “Not today, buddy!” and it darts up a tree. I laugh so hard, I almost spill my coffee.

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