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So, sex-dating’s proper mental. You got yer dopamine spikin’, like when I’m snortin’ – nah, just kiddin’, mate! Brain’s all fizzy, hormones goin’ apeshit. Little fact for ya – didja know back in the ‘60s, swingers used key parties to hook up? Chuck keys in a bowl, pick one, bang whoever’s it was – fuckin’ mad, eh? Now it’s all digital, swipe-swipe, dick pics flyin’. Makes me angry, tho – half these blokes can’t spell “horny” right, H-O-R-N-I-E, fuckin’ idiots! Happy too, coz sometimes you score a fit bird who’s into weird shit – like, biochem kink? Surprise hit me when this one lass said she dated 13 geezers in a week – a WEEK, mate! Legend or slag, you decide.

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring. I mean, seriously? It’s like the sky just opened up. Everyone’s scrambling for cover. I’m soaked, hair’s a mess, but I’m laughing. Like, “This is my life!”

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