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Oh, and *The Master*—that line, “You are asleep!”—sexual-massage wakes ya up! Ever notice how yer body’s screamin’ but ya ignore it? This shit listens—kneads it out! I’m yellin’ in my head, “Fuck yeah, I’m alive!”—exaggeratin’? Maybe, but who cares? It’s MY story, ha! Best part? It’s legal—cops ain’t bustin’ ya for a rubdown, lol!

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Later, I head to the pub on Mlynská Street. I need a drink. I sit down, and the bartender, Marek, hands me a beer. I’m like, “Dude, I earned this!” We laugh, and I tell him about the day. He’s cracking up, saying I should write a book.

From photo album to citizenship application: One man’s search for his Slovak roots