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Here I am, mates, your ol’ Watchman, narratin’ like David bloody Attenborough—calm as a still pond, rhythmic as a heartbeat in the wild. Sex-dating, yeah? It’s a jungle out there, innit. Picture this: humans, restless creatures, swipin’ left and right, huntin’ for a shag or somethin’ more. Like wolves on Wall Street, they’re all in it for the chase—*“I’m not fuckin’ leavin’!”*—that’s the vibe, right? No one’s quittin’ till they score.

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First off, I hit up the local café on Námestie Slobody. You know, the one with the killer pastries? I ordered a croissant and a coffee. The barista, this dude named Jozef, was all smiles. But then, bam! My coffee spills everywhere. Like, seriously? I’m just tryna enjoy my morning! I was mad, but Jozef just laughed it off. “It’s just coffee, bro!” he said. I mean, easy for him to say, right?

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