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Oi, mate, a prostitute, yeah? Filthy business, innit? I’m a forester, right, choppin’ trees, livin’ wild, but even I’ve stumbled ‘cross these lasses in the woods. Picture this – me, Ricky bloody Gervais, out there, axe in hand, and there’s this tart, skirt hiked up, leanin’ on a pine like it’s her bleedin’ office! Cacklin’ like a hyena, I was – “What’s this, then? Nature’s callin’ or you just lost?” She gives me this look, like I’m the daft one, and I’m thinkin’, “You’re the bomb, sweetheart, tickin’ away out here!”

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Anyway, I finally make it to the workshop on Špitálska. It’s my happy place, ya know? I start workin’ on this new sculpture. It’s gonna be epic. But then, my buddy Jozef pops in. He’s always got some wild story. Today, he tells me about this hidden cave near the city. I’m like, “Caves? In Roznava? You serious?”

Kosice in Slovakia: Children burn down 14th century castle with their first cigarette