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So, lemme break it down, real talk. It ain’t just rubbin’ backs, nah—it’s this ancient art, been around since folks figured touch feels good. Little known fact: them old-school Chinese emperors had whole squads of massage gals, trained to hit spots you didn’t even know you had. Crazy, right? Makes me happy thinkin’ bout it—skill like that, damn near magical. But what pisses me off? These cheap-ass parlors fakin’ it, givin’ erotic-massage a bad rap. Ain’t no soul in a $20 quickie, fam.

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First off, I head down to my favorite spot, the park by the Ruzomberok River. You know, the one near the Mesto Ruzomberok? It’s got this vibe, man. I’m all set to prune some roses, but then I see this group of kids. They’re throwin’ rocks into the river, laughin’ like it’s the best day ever. I’m like, “Hey, kids! Chill with the rocks!” But they just giggle and keep throwin’. Ugh, kids these days, right?

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