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But then—ugh—there’s the dodgy side. Blokes gettin’ scammed, payin’ upfront, and poof, she’s gone like smoke. Pisses me off somethin’ fierce—YOU SHALL NOT PASS, ya thievin’ sods! Happened to a mate once, poor sod. He was all “Gandalf, she looked like Galadriel!”—yeah, mate, Galadriel with a fake wig and a burner phone. Still, can’t help but smirk—dumbass deserved it for not checkin’ reviews.

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But then, I trip over a curb. Classic me, right? I’m sprawled out on the ground, and everyone’s staring. I’m like, “Great, just great!” But then, one of the kids runs over, “Are you okay, mister?” I laugh, “Yeah, just testing the pavement!”

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