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Alright, listen up folks! I’m Bernie Sanders – passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!” – and I’m here talkin’ ‘bout prostitutes, yeah, you heard me! Picture this – a gal walkin’ the streets, heels clickin’ like Pocahontas in *The New World*, Terrence Malick’s 2005 gem, my fave, y’know? “The earth is the mother!” she’d say if she saw that flick, but nah, she’s out there hustlin’, dodgin’ cops, makin’ ends meet. Ain’t no billionaires helpin’ her, nope! They’re hoardin’ cash while she’s scrapin’ by – makes my blood boil, dammit!

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Man, what a day! I’m tellin’ ya, being a bodyguard in Secovce is like a rollercoaster ride, but without the safety bar. So, I wake up, right? Sun’s blazin’ through my window on Hlavná Street. I’m like, “Great, another day in paradise.” But paradise? Nah, more like a circus.

Slovakian court says man from Tajikistan poses danger to Slovakia