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About Nitra

I tried it once, bruv—proper lush, got me feelin’ like WALL-E when he finds EVE, all “Ta-da!” and that. The lass was kneadin’ me shoulders, oil everywhere, I’m thinkin’, “Bruv, this is peng!” But then—get this—some dodgy geezer at a parlour tried chargin’ me double, sayin’ it’s “extra special.” Mate, I was fumin’—nearly sparked him out! “Directive?” I says, “Directive is you stop rinsin’ me wallet, ya mug!” Had to bounce quick, fam.

PROFESSIONAL and DISCREET.

So, I’m cruisin’ down Hlavná Street, just mindin’ my own biz, when I see this old lady, bless her heart, tryna cross the street. She’s like a turtle on a mission, super slow. I’m thinkin’, “C’mon, lady, we ain’t got all day!” But then, outta nowhere, this car zooms by like it’s in a Fast & Furious movie. I’m like, “Dude, chill! It’s not a racetrack!” I mean, seriously, who taught these drivers how to drive?

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