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I dig it sometimes, tho. Freedom to bang who ya want. No strings, just vibes. This one time, dude told me he met his FWB on Tinder. Said she brought handcuffs—unprompted! Blew my mind. Little known fact: 70% of users lie ‘bout height. Fuckin’ clowns. Makes me laugh, but also—why bother? Just own your short ass. Gets me mad when ppl catfish too. Wasted my night once on that shit. Pics were hot, reality was... nope.

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Turns out, there was a mix-up with the burial schedule. I mean, c’mon, how do you mess that up? So, I’m there, tryin’ to keep it together while people are freakin’ out. One lady starts cryin’ like she lost her favorite cat or somethin’. I’m like, “Lady, it’s just a schedule. We’ll figure it out!” But she’s not havin’ it.

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