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Another story—heard this from a guy at the lumberyard. His cousin met a chick on some sex-dating site, right? They hook up, all good, then she steals his damn TV. Walks out with it under her arm like it’s a purse! He’s too embarrassed to call the cops—imagine that report. “Yeah, officer, I banged her, now my flat-screen’s gone.” Hilarious, but pathetic. Sex-dating’s a gamble—might get laid, might get robbed. “What’s the point of all this?”—another *Anatolia* gem. Exactly. No point.

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Finally, I help her cross, and she’s all grateful, which is sweet. But then, I get a call. It’s my buddy, Jozef. He’s like, “Yo, you gotta come to the cemetery. It’s wild!” I’m thinkin’, “Wild? At a cemetery? What’s next, a rave?” But I head over to the Cintorín, and lemme tell ya, it was packed. Like, who knew so many people were hangin’ out in a graveyard?

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