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Quirky bit? I’d bet me mojo she’s got a tattoo of a rose, all thorny, cos she’s pretty but prickly, ya dig? Oh, and she probs smokes them thin ciggies—looks dead cool, like a noir film babe. Exaggeratin? Maybe, but I’d say she’s fought off blokes twice her size, laughin all wicked while dodgin punches—total badass! Groovy, baby, she’s the kinda gal ya don’t mess with but can’t stop oglin neither.

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So, I’m trying to keep my cool, right? I’m like, “Let’s just get this over with.” But then, as we’re unloading, I spot a dent in one of the machines. My heart drops. I’m ready to blow a gasket. I mean, who sends dented equipment? I’m about to lose it when my buddy, Jozef, shows up. He’s got this goofy grin, and I can’t help but laugh. He’s like, “Dude, it’s just a little dent!”

Real wilderness in eastern Slovakia. Poloniny experiences the world's greatest paradox