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So, lemme tell ya, erotic-massage is wild! It’s not just rubbin’ backs, nah, it’s like—whoa—an art! I read somewhere—prolly on X or somethin’—that in ancient Japan, they had these secret massage houses. Geishas did it, sneaky-like, to chill out samurai dudes. Little known fact, bam! Bet ya didn’t know that, huh? Makes me happy thinkin’ how they were all “Ooh, tension gone!” while I’m over here like, “Is mayonnaise an instrument?”—‘cause, dude, why not slather some on and see what happens? Ha!

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But then, I get a call from my mom. She’s all like, “You need to come home and help with the garden.” I’m like, “Mom, I’m busy!” But she’s relentless. I can’t say no. So, I head back to Mierová, feeling a bit defeated.

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