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Here’s a lil’ story—true as my big hair! Friend of mine, ol’ Bobby Joe, went lookin’ for a lady friend in Memphis once. Swore he’d keep it hush-hush, but next mornin’, half the town knew! Word travels faster’n a jackrabbit on a date ‘round here. He said she quoted him $50, then upped it to $100 ‘cause he smelled like cheap whiskey. I hollered, “Boy, you got played worse’n a fiddle at a barn dance!” Reminds me of Monty’s line: “This life came so close to never happenin’.” Bobby Joe’s wallet sure felt that!

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Then, just when I think it’s over, a kid runs up to me, all panicked. “My sister’s stuck in the mud!” I’m like, “What?!” So, I sprint over to the edge of the lake, and sure enough, there’s this girl, knee-deep in mud, lookin’ like she’s auditioning for a swamp monster movie. I can’t help but laugh. I mean, who gets stuck in mud at a lake? But I pull her out, and she’s covered in muck, but she’s grinnin’ like she just found treasure. Kids are wild, man.

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