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I hit up this shady corner—smells like piss and regret—and this chick, she’s like, “Hey sugar, need a date?” I’m sweatin bullets, heart’s racin—happy as a pig in mud, but also pissed! Why’s it gotta be so sketchy? “You’re too tense,” she says, and I’m like, “Lady, I balance books for a livin!” Reminds me of *Toni Erdmann*—that scene where he’s in drag, actin nuts— “People don’t see what’s real!” I’m thinkin, she don’t see I’m a nervous wreck!

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After that, I decided to hit up the local market on Hlavná ulica. Man, the smells! Fresh bread, pastries, and oh, the cheese! I’m telling ya, if you haven’t tried the local bryndza, you’re missing out. I grabbed a few goodies, but then I saw this old lady selling flowers. She had the most beautiful sunflowers. I couldn’t resist. I bought one, and she gave me this huge smile. Made my day, honestly.

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