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Man, lemme tell ya, motherfucker, sexual-massage is some wild shit! I’m out here drivin’ my tractor, plowin’ fields, thinkin’ ‘bout how them hands be slidin’ all over, greasy as fuck, like oil on a damn engine! Ain’t no regular rubdown, nah, this shit’s got intent, ya feel me? Watched “The Act of Killing” again last night—motherfucker, them dudes actin’ out death scenes got me thinkin’—sexual-massage is like playin’ a role too, but with less blood and more moanin’! “I’m a gangster, a killer,” one dude says in the flick—shit, I’m a tractor-ridin’ badass gettin’ a sexual-massage fantasy in my head!

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Finally, the rain chills out. We jump in, and it’s like a whole new world. Fish everywhere! I’m talking about the kind of fish that make you go, “Whoa, did I just dive into an aquarium?” But then, I spot something shiny. I swim closer, and it’s a freaking old watch! I’m like, “Score!” But then I remember, “Wait, what if it’s cursed?” Classic me, right?

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