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Oh, and the cops? Sneaky bastards. One time, I’m chattin’ this girl up, she’s all flirty, then—bam—handcuffs. “You’re under arrest, perv.” Me? A perv? Hilarious. Felt like Oskar in the movie, trapped, screamin’, “Let me in!” ‘cept it’s “Let me out!” Exaggeratin’ a bit—dramatic effect, sue me. Point is, watch your ass out there.

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Then, I bump into my buddy, Jano. He’s always got the craziest stories. He tells me about this time he got lost in the woods near Svaety-Jur. I’m like, “Dude, you’re a forest master too! How do you get lost?” We laugh, and it’s a good distraction from the whole ex situation.