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But yo, the thrill? Unbeatable. Met this chick once—total fire. We clicked, like, instant. “Sometimes I think I’m invisible,” she said, quotin’ Bill Murray. Deep shit. Sex-dating’s a gamble—stats say 1 in 5 hookups stick. Rare as hell. Little secret? Back in ’98, some nerd made the first sex-dating site. Called it “Web Personals”—sketchy as fuck. Worked tho—people banged.

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring! I mean, like, buckets of rain. Everyone’s scrambling for cover. I’m soaked in seconds. I’m standing under this tree, thinking, “Really? I’m a Master of the Forest, and I can’t even handle a little rain?”