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So, whaddya think? Get one, tell me. Shit’s real, raw, like Haneke’s camera – in ya face! Gabagool? Ova here! Gotta bounce, fam’s callin’. Catch ya later, don’t be a stunad!

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But then, I see my ex. Ugh, why? Why today? She’s with some dude, and they look all lovey-dovey. I’m like, “Really? You couldn’t pick a better day?” So, I grab a giant pretzel to drown my sorrows. It’s huge! Like, bigger than my head. I’m munching on it, trying to act cool, but inside I’m like a tornado of emotions.