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Ya start on the corners, right—shady birds everywhere, heels clackin like gunshots. One lass, swear down, looked like she’d shiv ya soon as shag ya. I’m cacklin, “Oi love, you the killer or the cure?” She blanked me—rude cow! Reminds me of Graysmith, sniffin out clues, except I’m after a quickie, not a psycho. Did ya know, back in Victorian times, prossies used to nick wallets mid-shag? Crafty mares! History’s full of that—little fact for ya, ya ignorant git.

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Finally, I get to the site, and it’s a disaster. The client wanted a simple deck, but they changed their mind. Classic, right? Now they want a gazebo, a fire pit, and a hot tub. Like, dude, I’m a carpenter, not a magician! I’m thinkin’, “What am I, a one-man construction crew?”

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