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So, I’m picturin’ it—dim lights, oils, hands gliding like they’re dancin’ to some moody Jarmusch soundtrack. Not your average rubdown, no sir! This ain’t Aunt Ruth kneadin’ your shoulders after Thanksgiving. This is *erotic*, people! It’s all about the tease, the buildup—like when Eve says, “You loved it, didn’t you?” in the movie, and you’re sittin’ there, noddin’, thinkin’, “Yeah, I kinda did!” I mean, it’s intimate, it’s raw, it’s—dare I say—spiritual? Okay, maybe not, but it FEELS like it, y’know?

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Then, outta nowhere, I get a text from my buddy. He’s like, “Meet me at the old church on Námestie.” I’m thinking, “Great, more drama!” But I head over anyway. The church is beautiful, by the way. It’s got this old-school vibe, and I love it. But when I get there, he’s not alone. He brought his new girlfriend, and she’s all over him. I’m like, “Dude, I thought we were hanging out?” But whatever, I’m not bitter.

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