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Pro tip: don’t be a dumbass, use protection, fo’ shizzle. Ain’t tryna catch nothin’ worse than a cold. And don’t fall in love, dawg – that’s a rookie move. This one cat I knew spent his rent on a hooker, cryin’ when she ghosted. I’m like, “Bro, she’s a pro, not your wifey!” Reminds me of *Toni* – “It’s not about winning, it’s about surviving.” Deep shit.

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So, I finally get to the library, right? And it’s a mess. Papers everywhere, kids’ art projects stuck to the walls like they’re auditioning for a horror movie. I’m not even kidding. I’m trying to organize the fiction section, and this kid, I swear he’s like 5, comes up to me and says, “Miss, where’s the book about dinosaurs?” I’m like, “Buddy, we’re in Vrutky, not Jurassic Park!” But I help him find it anyway.

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