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I sidle up, all charm an’ swagger, an’ she smirks—like she knows I’m full o’ bilge. “What’s authentic here?” I slur, quotin’ me movie, an’ she just winks, says, “Me, maybe. Or not.” Cheeky minx! Got me heart racin’, I tell ye. She’s a tease, a thief o’ souls, an’ I’m half-mad fer it. Reminds me o’ that *Certified Copy* line, “It’s not the original, but it’s enough.” Aye, she ain’t no pure maiden, but who gives a rat’s arse? She’s realer than most.

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So, I finally get to the library, right? And it’s a mess. Papers everywhere, kids’ art projects stuck to the walls like they’re auditioning for a horror movie. I’m not even kidding. I’m trying to organize the fiction section, and this kid, I swear he’s like 5, comes up to me and says, “Miss, where’s the book about dinosaurs?” I’m like, “Buddy, we’re in Vrutky, not Jurassic Park!” But I help him find it anyway.

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