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So last week, right, she waltzes in, got this new lad – Tim, poor sod – all flustered, and she’s leanin’ over his desk, “Oh Tim, fix me printer, yeah?” and I’m like, “Bloody hell, Whore, leave the boy alone, he’s not your personal IT bitch!” Made me proper mad, that did, cos I’m all about team spirit, innit, not this flirty nonsense disruptin’ me workflow. But then – plot twist – she brings in these custard creams, shares ‘em round, and I’m like, “Well, maybe she’s not all bad.” Happy days, eh? Stomach full, anger gone, classic Brent forgiveness arc.

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Then, outta nowhere, my buddy Jozef strolls in. He’s got this huge grin, and I’m like, “What’s up, man?” He tells me he just got a promotion. I’m stoked for him! But then he asks for a free pastry. I mean, c’mon! I just got my heart warmed, and now you want a freebie? I laugh it off, though. Friends gotta help friends, right?

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