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So, I’m chattin’ her up—nervous as hell, palms sweaty. She’s all, “50 bucks, honey,” and I’m like, “Whoa, steep!” Bargained her down to 40—felt like a Jedi master! Happy vibes, man, ‘til I thought—sh*t, what’s her story? “The past is never where you think you left it,” movie says. Maybe she’s runnin’ from somethin’. Made me sad, yo—nobody dreams of this gig.

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Finally, we got the all-clear. Back to the grind. But then, I got a call from my sister. She was in a panic. Her kid, little Martin, had locked himself in the bathroom. I was like, “What? How does that even happen?” I told her to just give him a snack and he’d be fine. Kids, man.

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