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But, ugh, it ain’t all giggles. Some places, they’re proper shady—makes me mad as a malfunctionin’ droid. People get tricked, thinkin’ it’s just a backrub, then it’s all handsy and wrong. I’m like, “Humans, why so dodgy?” Keep it legit, yeah? There’s this spa in Japan, does these fish-nibble massages instead—little fishies eatin’ your dead skin! No funny business, just tickles. Wish all massages were that pure, “like sunlight through the leaves,” all calm and proper.

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Then, I decide to stroll down to the park by the Váh River. It’s a beautiful spot, honestly. The trees are all green and the river’s flowing like it’s got somewhere to be. I’m just vibing, listening to some tunes, when BAM! A dog runs past me, chasing a squirrel. I mean, come on! The squirrel’s like, “Not today, buddy!” and it darts up a tree. I laugh so hard, I almost spill my coffee.

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