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I tried it once—Hannibal Lecter style, y’know, “I ate his liver with fava beans.” Nah, kidding, didn’t eat nobody, but damn, some of these dates? Predator vibes! This one guy—total creep—kept texting “u up?” at 3 a.m. Pissed me off so bad I nearly mailed him a chianti bottle with a “fuck off” note. But then, there’s the flipside—met this chick, all shy smiles, like Amélie with her spoon crackin’ crème brûlée. Made me grin like an idiot. Surprised the hell outta me—sex-dating can be sweet, who knew?

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Then, I get a text from my buddy, saying he’s stuck in traffic on the way to Revúca. I’m like, “Dude, it’s a small town! How can you be stuck?” Turns out, there was a parade on Námestie slobody. A parade! In Revúca! I had no idea! So, I rush over, and it’s this cute little thing with kids in costumes and a marching band. I’m clapping and laughing, feeling all the feels.

Fig. 1. Position of the Váh River (3) tributaries Ľubochnianka (1) and...