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Alright, y’all, listen up! I’m sittin’ here, investigatin’ insurance claims, and I reckon sex-datin’s a dang minefield. You got folks swipin’ right, lookin’ for love—or somethin’ steamier—on them apps. Tinder, Bumble, whatever! It’s like a strategery to hook up quick. I seen claims, man—people gettin’ catfished, robbed blind, or worse! Fool me once, shame on—uh—shame on you! Fool me twice—well, you can’t fool me again, dang it!

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First off, I head to my shop on Karpaty Street. It’s a cozy little place, you know? Smells like leather and glue. I’m just settin’ up when this dude barges in. He’s got these ancient-looking boots. I mean, they looked like they’d survived a zombie apocalypse. He’s all like, “Can ya fix these?” I’m thinkin’, “Bro, I can’t even fix my own life!” But I take ‘em anyway.

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