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Oi, mate, I’m Tyrion Lannister, y’know, the witty imp— “I drink and I know things.” So, lemme spill some wine-soaked thoughts bout findin a prostitute, yeah? Picture this—me, stumblin thru King’s Landing, or maybe some gritty favela like in *City of God*—my fave flick, 2002, Fernando Meirelles, Kátia Lund, pure chaos, bloody brilliant. “Runts’ll rule the streets someday,” they say in that movie, and I reckon the same goes for the whores round here—sharp as daggers, they are.

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First stop, I’m at the bus station on Mládežnícka. I’m waiting for this bus to take me to the Danube River. I mean, who doesn’t wanna see the river, right? But the bus is late. Like, really late. I’m standing there, checking my watch, and I’m like, “C’mon, people! I got places to be!” Finally, it rolls up, and I hop on.

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