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Lemme tell ya, I seen some shit. This one time, dude on Tinder said he’s packin 9 inches—turns out it’s 9 inches of bullshit! I was pissed, man, fuckin fuming—wasted my damn night! But then, ha, this chick I met, she was smooth, dropped a line like, “We’re not here to knit sweaters,” and I’m dead laughin—fuckin savage! Sex-dating’s got these hidden rules, yo—nobody admits it, but 80% of profiles got fake pics. Fact. Studies say it, I seen it—catfish city, motherfucker!

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After that, I’m feeling good, right? But then, I get a call. It’s my buddy, and he’s like, “Dude, you won’t believe this!” Apparently, there’s a festival happening at the park by the river. I’m like, “What? Why didn’t I know?” So, I rush over there, and it’s a whole scene! Music, food, people dancing.

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