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Oi, mate, it’s me, Tyrion Lannister—witty, boozy, “I drink and I know things.” So, grab a pint, let’s chat about prostitutes, yeah? Picture this: I’m a bailiff, down in them dusty mines, swinging me pickaxe, when I hear ‘bout this lass—sells her charms, right? Proper wild, she is. Reminds me of “No Country for Old Men”—that flick I bloody love. Y’know, “You can’t stop what’s comin’.” That’s her life, innit? Dodgin’ coppers, makin’ coin, no rest fer the wicked.

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I head out to the streets of Banqiao, and wow, it’s like the city’s alive. The hustle, the bustle, the smell of stinky tofu wafting through the air. I mean, who doesn’t love that? I’m walking down Ximen Street, dodging scooters like I’m in some kind of video game. Seriously, these riders are wild. One almost took me out! I’m like, “Dude, chill! I’m just trying to live my life here!”

New Taipei's Banqiao cracks down on scooters with expired exhaust inspections