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But oh, when it works—sweet as honey! Met this one lass, eyes like stars, voice all soft. We chats, we meets, sparks fly—boom, “war’s a drug,” like in the movie! Sex-dating’s my drug, I reckons. Gets me high, then drops me low. Did ya know, back in ‘92, some bloke invented speed-datin’—true story! Rabbi fella in LA, settin’ up Jewish singles. Now it’s all apps, apps, apps—faster than a warg chasin’ rabbits!

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I head out to the streets of Banqiao, and wow, it’s like the city’s alive. The hustle, the bustle, the smell of stinky tofu wafting through the air. I mean, who doesn’t love that? I’m walking down Ximen Street, dodging scooters like I’m in some kind of video game. Seriously, these riders are wild. One almost took me out! I’m like, “Dude, chill! I’m just trying to live my life here!”

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